Orbit Mint Mojito

I was REALLY excited when I came across this flavor about 2 years back. For one thing, it had mint in it, and everybody who's anybody knows that mint + gum is a match made in heaven that's hard to screw up (see Orbit Sweet Mint review below). So, naturally, I bought a pack and saved the actual first tasting for a particularly boring class.

What a letdown. I had to spit it out after about 5 minutes, and I NEVER spit gum out. I ended up giving wads of gum away to people I didn't like very much as Christmas/birthday/President's day/ National Blueberry Pie day presents, in an effort to maintain (or even enhance) or level of dislike of each other. I also kept about 4 wads and gave them to actual friends/1 girl I was dating to test if they had the ability to discern tasty gum from gross gum, and all passed with flying colors. I've since broken up with the 1-girl-I-was-dating-who-then-became-my-girlfriend, and I suspect now, upon thinking back to her actual reaction when I let her try it, that she was most likely faking dislike just to get on my good side.

A few things have changed in my life. For one thing, I started drinking and I hear that this particular flavor is ideal for the individual who wishes to have a refreshing alcoholic tonic in the early hours of the afternoon, without wanting to come off as an alcoholic. All I can say to that is that I'd trust an alcoholic more with my life than someone who thinks this flavor gum is the best thing since the Wu Tang Clan.

Orbit Sweet Mint

I first discovered Orbit's Sweet Mint flavored gum about 3 years ago. Throughout the years, I've gone through probably 89 other gum flavors, and none of them have come close to having the staying power of this delectably perfect combination of the freshness of mint, and sweetness of sweet. I don't know which one of their professional flavor experts came up with this combination, but it's perfect. Whether you're having a bad day and just need something to masticate on, or you're having a great date and want to get your mouth prepared for the little somethin' somethin' to follow, this is the gum for you. I have yet to meet anyone who didn't absolutely LOVE this flavor of gum.

Okay, actually, I have, but upon discovering their inability to differentiate true genius from other, substandard flavored gum, I decided to end our friendship. Nobody needs that much negativity in their lives.

Summary: Currently, the #1 gum on my list. Worth breaking up with someone over, unless said person is a phenylketonuric, or happens to be really really hot (OR, has a really really hot sister).

Trident Layers

Just bought these two flavors 2 days ago because they were on sale for a buck each. Was really excited to try them, but the experience so far has been unsatisfactory. I had the strawberry-citrus combo Saturday night with a friend (I was leaning towards the apple-pineapple combo, but she vetoed the apple). I'd been mentally preparing myself for an amazing experience from the moment I bought it, but after the first 10 seconds or so, it started to go tasteless and too-chewy.

I kept chewing of course, because one doesn't throw away gum *just* because of fickle reasons like lack of taste/jaw strength ("Quitters never win, winners never quit"). My friend, however wasn't as resolute about the whole thing. I'm pretty sure she spit hers out after about 3 minutes. Can't say I blame her.

Summary: Definitely not something I'd end a friendship over.